When the Doctor Wears Fur
Why Your Dog or Cat May Be One of the Best Docs 
Your Chronic Illness Could Ever Have
Many scientific studies have shown that pets have a positive effect on people — and especially on those of us living with a chronic condition. Pets not only ease loneliness, they help us break the spell of being mesmerized by our health concerns. Dogs help us exercise and socialize. Cats help us relax and feel soothed. Pets of all kinds help us laugh, feel reassured, and be in the present. But these “furry docs” contribute even more to our lives.
Pets can actually help prevent or alleviate serious medical conditions. A huge study involving over 4,400 participants — reported at an American Stroke Association conference in February (2008) — revealed that people with cats can reduce the likelihood of heart attack by 30% when compared with people who live without a cat.
Earlier research has shown that pets in general (no matter what kind) can reduce stress, add to the longevity of those who’ve already had a heart attack and relieve some symptoms of diseases that have a stress-related component. Studies also show that dogs, in particular, make people feel happier, allow them to meet new people on dog walks and even to lose weight (an average of 14 pounds a year, according to a University of Missouri study). The scientific evidence is overwhelming.
But living with pets who require lots of care can be difficult for those with chronic illness. Our client, Sandra, for instance, a 47-year-old woman with fibromyalgia, told Feel Better Now-CI Therapist Dan that, on some days, she really wondered if two rambunctious dogs were just too much for her.
So Dan asked Sandra to “externalize” her concerns — by writing down the advantages, as well as the disadvantages, of her dogs. At once, Sandra remembered how their love and companionship were an enormous comfort when she felt fearful and alone. And how they “broke the spell” of discouragement and pain with all their canine antics.
As a result, Sandra committed to find ways to live more comfortably with her dogs, and Dan suggested a few sessions of Quick Coaching with CI Life Coach Sylvia to develop some good strategies.
During their first session, Sylvia asked Sandra to talk about everything she found draining about her dogs. Then, together, they developed a plan for tackling each challenge. To avoid getting yanked around when her dogs were leashed, Sandra hired a trainer to perfect their obedience training. To get help on days when she felt fatigued, Sandra hired a neighborhood dog walker.
In a matter of weeks, most of the negatives of dog care had disappeared and Sandra felt a newfound happiness. Not only because of her resourcefulness, but because her dogs were now usually a joy.
Three Simple Steps for Caring for Your & Your Pet:
1. What isn’t working: List the top 10 things about pet care that drain your energy.
2. Create a plan: Address each thing on the list with a proactive solution. For example, hire help when you need it. You can view your investment in pet care as a good way to protect your health and energy — your life satisfaction.
3. One for you; one for Fido: Combine caring for your pet with caring for yourself. Need exercise? Need to socialize? Walk your dog! Want to meditate each morning? Put your cat in your lap! Want to explore your creative writing ability? Write about your dog, your cat, your bird, your hamster! Many books about pets have become bestsellers.
Once you’ve tried the three do-it-yourself steps above, you may also want some additional assistance in caring for yourself while caring for your pet. Getting an outside perspective can lead to solutions that are otherwise difficult to see.
Sign up for a free initial phone consultation with Therapist Dan or Coach Sylvia by visiting this page and clicking on Free Initial Consult. We look forward to talking with you.
“I Can’t Live Like This!”
What to Do When Chronic Illness
Steals Your Stamina & Shreds Your Patience
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If — like our client Alicia with fibromyalgia — you try to accomplish as much as possible whenever you are symptom-free . . . only to spend days recuperating afterwards . . . Therapist Dan and Coach Sylvia of Feel Better Now-CI can help you find a better way. Using their Quick Counseling + Coaching methods, you’ll not only complete your “Do” list with ease, you’ll free your energy for all the things you truly love to do.
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Late last week, a new client named Alicia — a fifty-one-year-old woman with fibromyalgia — was referred to us by her physician, Dr. Scott (we’ve changed both names to ensure their privacy). Dr. Scott wanted us to help Alicia with recurring lifestyle challenges brought on by her chronic illness.
“I can’t stand living like this!” Alicia exclaimed, when we asked what prompted her call. One recent Friday, knowing her college-age sons were coming home for the weekend, Alicia spent hours shopping for food and hours more preparing their favorite lasagna dinner. The next day, she could hardly enjoy their visit because of a painful flare up in her symptoms.
This wasn’t the first time Alicia had overexerted herself only to regret it the next day. In fact, it was a cyclical pattern. “When I feel good, I want to catch up on things, to make up for when all I can do is rest,” she explained. ”But I always pay for it later.”
We decided that Alicia would benefit from working first with Dan. He could help her identify hidden thoughts and beliefs — since these are usually the driving force behind a pattern of overexertion and painful payback.
As Dan asked Alicia questions, it became clear that several underlying fears were to blame. If she didn’t go all out for her sons, Alicia feared, they wouldn’t want to visit her. Even worse, they’d think she didn’t care. Oddly enough, she had never articulated these fears, and barely knew that she felt them.
But once they were out in the open, Dan used several Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques (Quick Counseling) to help reduce their power over Alicia. As she felt her old, partially hidden fears pop like soap bubbles, Alicia was not only relieved, she realized that overdoing and recuperating wasn’t her only option. She could choose to do something else, instead.
Asking more questions, Dan learned that Alicia still felt a little “wobbly” about acting on her new realization. So he recommended a few sessions of Quick Coaching with CI Life Coach Sylvia. This would give Alicia the support she needed to create new choices, and the strategies she needed to carry them out.
Sylvia began Alicia’s first session by using the most recent overexertion and recuperation cycle as a starting point. “What do you most look forward to when your sons are coming to visit?” Alicia didn’t hesitate. ”All of us being together as a family — my husband and I, and the boys — and telling stories, eating dinner, maybe going to a movie.”
“What could you have done differently,” Sylvia asked, “so you’d enjoy their visit, instead of being in pain?” Alicia sighed. “I could have rested instead of cooking on Friday. I always rest before special events, but my fears told me to cook for my sons. I could have ordered food instead of cooking. They would have enjoyed that nearly as much, and I wouldn’t have been in such pain.”
How could Alicia make different choices, going forward? Sylvia suggested that, before any activity, Alicia decide what she hoped to experience. And then create a “Do” list of no more than four tasks that would support her goal.
In the situation with her sons, Alicia’s list might have read: Ordering food for dinner, stocking her sons’ favorite beverages and snacks, getting their rooms in order, and taking several long naps on the Friday before they arrived. Alicia was amazed that the solution was so simple.
After a few more sessions, she realized that planning around her priorities not only worked. It gave her new energy to pursue the photography she loved but hadn’t been able to find the time or stamina for. Until now, that is. She couldn’t wait to try out her energy-enhancing skills, so she could take short field trips with her camera gear.
Five Simple Steps for Getting Started on Your Own:
1. Think of a situation in which you usually do too much and always feel terrible the next day.
2. Ask yourself, What’s the worst thing that could happen, if I don’t get everything done? Write your answers down.
3. Spend a few minutes focusing on each answer while asking this question: Is this really true? Then ask: What’s the kindest, most forgiving-of-myself way to restate this situation?
(For instance, Alicia, above, loved her sons and wanted to do something special for them. But mistreating herself cancels out her good intentions. Instead, she could tell herself, My sons will know I love them if I enjoy their visit. And that means being sure I have the energy to spend time with them.)
4. Finally, list all the options you can think of — the more the better — for handling this situation in a way that doesn’t compromise your health (like Alicia’s best option of ordering food instead of cooking, you might hire someone to do your preparation work, spread your work over a full week, or choose a less strenuous activity altogether).
5. Put one of your new options into practice. See how it works out. Make adjustments afterwards, if there are things you weren’t completely satisfied with. Or, try another option. Keep experimenting. Remember that the underlying goal is to enhance your health and happiness.
Once you’ve tried the do-it-yourself steps above, you may be interested in some additional help for resolving your doing-too-much challenges. Sometimes, a longstanding issue requires an extra boost to move out of our lives.
You can sign up for a free initial phone consultation with Therapist Dan or Coach Sylvia by clicking here, on Free Initial Consult. We look forward to talking with you.
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Don't Let Chronic Illness Stand in Your Way: The Coach Approach to Reaching Your Full Potential
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