“I don’t want to know if I have MS” – How one woman faced her fear of a definitive diagnosis
Betty began seeing Dan for Quick Counseling because she was anxious and depressed over a possible multiple sclerosis diagnosis. Her primary care doctor had referred her to a major medical center, but Betty could not force herself to make the necessary appointments to determine whether her physical symptoms were signs of MS.
“I don’t want to know if I have MS,” she told Dan at her first appointment. “I won’t be able to deal with it if I do have it, so it’s better not to know.” Dan told Betty that he understood her fears. He then suggested that they use a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy tool to help her evaluate the pros and cons of getting an official diagnosis.
Fear of the unknown
With Dan’s help, Betty listed all the drawbacks and benefits of getting a diagnosis. As she looked over her list, Betty said, “I guess there are some good reasons to get a diagnosis. But I’m still really scared of what’s going to happen.” This is natural, since fear of the unknown can be more devastating than reality. Dan reassured her that he could teach her ways to reduce her fears, and that he’d be there to support her if she in fact did have MS.
During the two weeks leading up to her medical evaluation, Dan helped Betty pinpoint the negative thoughts that were triggering her fears about a positive diagnosis. Once her fears were out in the open (I’ll be housebound. I’ll be completely unable to pursue the things I love to do.), Dan used several Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques to reduce their power over Betty.
Challenging the negative thoughts
As Betty learned to challenge each negative thought with a new thought that was more positive and realistic (There’s no way to know how quickly MS might progress. I might go into remission. Even if I can’t do everything I love, I’d probably still be able to do many things for quite a while.), her anxiety began to lift. By the time she went for her evaluation, Betty felt much more confident about her ability to handle whatever lay ahead.
When the Doctor Wears Fur
Why Your Dog or Cat May Be One of the Best Docs 
Your Chronic Illness Could Ever Have
Many scientific studies have shown that pets have a positive effect on people — and especially on those of us living with a chronic condition. Pets not only ease loneliness, they help us break the spell of being mesmerized by our health concerns. Dogs help us exercise and socialize. Cats help us relax and feel soothed. Pets of all kinds help us laugh, feel reassured, and be in the present. But these “furry docs” contribute even more to our lives.
Pets can actually help prevent or alleviate serious medical conditions. A huge study involving over 4,400 participants — reported at an American Stroke Association conference in February (2008) — revealed that people with cats can reduce the likelihood of heart attack by 30% when compared with people who live without a cat.
Earlier research has shown that pets in general (no matter what kind) can reduce stress, add to the longevity of those who’ve already had a heart attack and relieve some symptoms of diseases that have a stress-related component. Studies also show that dogs, in particular, make people feel happier, allow them to meet new people on dog walks and even to lose weight (an average of 14 pounds a year, according to a University of Missouri study). The scientific evidence is overwhelming.
But living with pets who require lots of care can be difficult for those with chronic illness. Our client, Sandra, for instance, a 47-year-old woman with fibromyalgia, told Feel Better Now-CI Therapist Dan that, on some days, she really wondered if two rambunctious dogs were just too much for her.
So Dan asked Sandra to “externalize” her concerns — by writing down the advantages, as well as the disadvantages, of her dogs. At once, Sandra remembered how their love and companionship were an enormous comfort when she felt fearful and alone. And how they “broke the spell” of discouragement and pain with all their canine antics.
As a result, Sandra committed to find ways to live more comfortably with her dogs, and Dan suggested a few sessions of Quick Coaching with CI Life Coach Sylvia to develop some good strategies.
During their first session, Sylvia asked Sandra to talk about everything she found draining about her dogs. Then, together, they developed a plan for tackling each challenge. To avoid getting yanked around when her dogs were leashed, Sandra hired a trainer to perfect their obedience training. To get help on days when she felt fatigued, Sandra hired a neighborhood dog walker.
In a matter of weeks, most of the negatives of dog care had disappeared and Sandra felt a newfound happiness. Not only because of her resourcefulness, but because her dogs were now usually a joy.
Three Simple Steps for Caring for Your & Your Pet:
1. What isn’t working: List the top 10 things about pet care that drain your energy.
2. Create a plan: Address each thing on the list with a proactive solution. For example, hire help when you need it. You can view your investment in pet care as a good way to protect your health and energy — your life satisfaction.
3. One for you; one for Fido: Combine caring for your pet with caring for yourself. Need exercise? Need to socialize? Walk your dog! Want to meditate each morning? Put your cat in your lap! Want to explore your creative writing ability? Write about your dog, your cat, your bird, your hamster! Many books about pets have become bestsellers.
Once you’ve tried the three do-it-yourself steps above, you may also want some additional assistance in caring for yourself while caring for your pet. Getting an outside perspective can lead to solutions that are otherwise difficult to see.
Sign up for a free initial phone consultation with Therapist Dan or Coach Sylvia by visiting this page and clicking on Free Initial Consult. We look forward to talking with you.
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Don't Let Chronic Illness Stand in Your Way: The Coach Approach to Reaching Your Full Potential
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